The things we do to survive

Hello Blog world. Been a minute since I been on. I’ve been sick for the past few days. Probably cause I been working really hard and horrible hours. Anyhoo… Just to get it out of my system I feel like ranting about a few things. So, where do I start? How about my daughter? I love her to death and she is my heart. I think it’s funny she is following in my footsteps. I look at the way she acts in school and at home and I think back to my own life growing up. Hopefully she won’t make the same mistakes I did and grows up happy and knows how much she is loved.

Speaking of loved, that brings me to my “other” love. I met a beautiful woman with a wonderful heart. My last relationship had me feeling empty after 5 years and I thought I’d never feel this way again. I’ve had a difficult time with women. Issues of trust, lack of confidence (theirs), and abandonment kept me from fully opening up to them and therefore being “in love.” Now I find a different set of obstacles in my way of happiness. Crappy job, tons of bills, and no funds to accomplish my goals. Now the last year of my marriage I suffered from depression. Not suicidal or severe self destructiveness but bad enough that I did not want to do anything. But, I’ve pulled myself together and slowly I’m getting to where I want to be. Just that after feeling down so long I’ve grown a little impatient. I want my cake now damn it. 😐